I love letters. That probably checks out, because I started a stationery brand. Genuinely I have always loved writing notes to people and receiving them.
So, when Micah and I first started dating I was gearing up for letters. I was expecting notes. People in love write notes. This was basic math in my head.
I was poised to receive scribbles of affection, post-it-notes of professions of admiration, and cards of caring tender feelings. I wanted it all.
I wrote a note for Micah. He loved it.
I got one in return.
Then I waited.
I was expecting him to know that I need letters like humans need to breath air. They fill me up.
My expectations weren't really met. So I did what anyone would, I pouted silently in my own mind. Strangely, this didn't solve much.
Then, I planned a funeral for my pride. I put to rest expecting letters without ever expressing a need.
Before a date I began to text, "I really need a Micah note today."
An amazing thing happened. I got a note.
It became this beautiful maturing process of learning the humility of sharing a need instead of expecting it. It's become more second nature now. But, sometimes I still feel this nagging feeling knowing I need to share my feeling, and needs instead of refusing to communicate and live in pouty land.